Tuesday, June 28, 2011

The Damage Done.

I also know many people that suffer because they've been used and thrown away by narcissists, or they have mistook their courteous, mesmerizing manners (when they needed something from them) for genuine interest. I have been teetering on the edge of this, but then my inborn skepticism and lack of trust in my fellow humans prevailed. This is how I manage to get along with my narcissist friends, family, and acquaintances: Seeing and accepting them for who they are. If they want to talk about their favorite subject (themselves), OK, if I have the time I'll listen or will pretend to. Some of my pool-gazing friends are really fascinating, unique human beings, so I am genuinely interested in listening to them and understanding their thought process. Others are totally unaware of their narcissism. In this case, I try to bring it all home by throwing around some food for thought. Most of the time, it does not work, but at least I'll get the satisfaction to tell them. 
Sometimes people realize that they have been or are being used, other times (most times) it's not really dawning on them. I am always aware of the fact that I'm most likely being used - make no mistake. These days, if you do not choose the hermit path, you must function as an audience for your fellow humans. Accepting a narcissist behavior means also not to get mad at them, because they don't know any better, or any different. They are almost always affected by persecution or martyrdom complexes: everyone is out to bother them, get them, or not treating them with the due respect. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A non-narcissist has only one weapon against these butterflies who overpopulate the virtual and real world (usually to document their life and show it in the virtual sphere): Indifference. Try and completely ignore a narcissist: You will get his/her immediate interest, for good and bad. It's really up to you which of their side you want to get. If you show a non-interest in a narcissist that just annoys you, manifesting indifference is the way to go in the long haul. If the narcissist interests you, be an attentive listener in your interaction with him/her, but shield your heart and soul with indifference and cynicism. Never, ever for a moment believe their words of praise and promise. Know where you stand: You are a T O O L  that can obtain what they need in the moment. Otherwise you're expendable. If you engrave this in your brain, you'll never sit there and cry your heart out for months on end trying to heal The Damage Done.

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